Sunday, February 20, 2011

2011 Race Season Starts Here

No blog posts in a long time.  Yeah I am a slacker.  Been doing all the same stuff I usually do, just more of it which means no bloggy.  Work. Ride bikes. Cook. Eat. Sleep.  Repeat to infinity.

Allison was pretty much off the bike for the entire month of January.  This has left me out of sorts, and things still aren't back to normal.  I can't just tag along on her training rides and stare at her cute butt for hours.  I have had to do a lot of long solo rides.  I did hook up with a few buddies for a couple mountain rides, and they were awesome rides, but I miss my wife terribly on the bike.  Mostly I have droned out tons of road miles with nothing to keep me company but the angry people in cars.  I guess this marks a transition, I am not sure when it occurred, that I no longer just desire to train to keep up with my wife.  I am doing this for me, for my health, for my sanity.  I guess I am just as obsessed as my wife.  Not that this is good or bad, but I hadn't realized the transition point.  I no longer need her for motivation to train.  I think that is good.

Another negative impact is that without Allison on the rides there are no pictures.  This isn't to say that I didn't take a ton of pictures before, it just means that without someone to share the ride with, or time to post a blog, pictures just sit on my camera (or phone) and I have lost interest.  This makes for much less than stellar blogging!

So what do I have to show for my efforts?

-I still have a job.  I keep waking up in the middle of the night wondering when the layoff will hit.  Hoping that I am not part of it.  Thinking about the plan of action if the worst happens.  The feeling I can relate it to is in a race, if you are out front and running scared with no idea how far back the next guy is.  I don't like this feeling.  There is a dark cloud behind me somewhere and I don't know if I can evade it.  Bleh.  I am good at what I do and replacing my skill set and motivation isn't easy so that is what I hope helps me weather this storm when so many others are suffering loss.

-I also am absolutely in the best shape of my life.  At no point have I ever been even close to where I am at now physically.  I keep thinking of how far away it seems that I was a 240lbs fat ass. (Or a busted up cyclist with no idea how long it would take, or how complete of a recovery I would have.)  It wasn't that long ago really.  I got a reminder last night when we saw a lot of people we hadn't seen in a couple years.  Lots of cool feedback from others, but the real benefit is just that I feel good.  I am healthy.  A nice side effect is I can also have a lot of fun riding and racing bikes!  (it is a very different fun than when I was fat and not anything like when I was broken!)

Not many people will read this far into a bunch of text on my random blog, but those that do get to here can be assured that I am back from my injuries last April.  Yeah I have pain.  Yeah my neck and my knee bug me.  They don't slow me down much.  I got really lucky.  I have tried to learn from my mistake.  I have done my best to take all that I could from being injured, off the bike, out of work, etc. and learn from it.  I think it gives me a different perspective on many areas of life.  Last night I realized talking to some people that I wouldn't change it if I could.  Having extreme lows gives us perspective.  If that is the lowest I ever get (I consider it lower than being a lard ass) then I am one really lucky guy and I need to remember not to take all the little shit for granted that I so often did.  New motto, "Enjoy the fucking day."  Also, "Keep your fucking head up."

There are downsides to all this.  I miss riding with my wife.  I hope this is temporary.  I hope things go back to me barely hanging onto her wheel.  I hope to be filled with pride and joy that she is back at the top of her game. I don't think it is the same for her, seeing me riding and racing well, as it is for me when I get to see her as one of the best in the U.S.A. because I am not on that sort of level and never could be.  I wouldn't miss being relegated to photographing her on the podium for anything in the world.  I do what I can to support her, but in the end it is 100% out of my control as to what happens (I hate this feeling too,).  I know she isn't happy and little pieces of me die when that happens.

So racing season starts and things are a little out of the ordinary but I am looking forward to it!  Hopefully I will post up some good race blogs about epic battles no matter the finishing position.  In the mean time I have done a few tune up races at SRC.  The first one had a decent showing and I put in the third fastest time of the day winning CAT1 35-39 by several minutes.  The second one was yesterday and I won the Open/Pro category (with a very dismal turnout, sort of a hollow victory).

Here's to fun on the bike and staying healthy (and hopefully keeping my job)!